Lemme Put A Smile On That Face.

1. A British doctor, a German doctor and an American doctor were chatting.
   The British doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."
   Then the German doctor bragged, "That''s nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks."
   The American doctor, not to be outdone, says, "You guys are way behind. We took a man with no brain out of Texas, put him in the White House, and almost immediately afterwards half the country was looking for work."
2. P. Diddy, Britney Spears, and Eminem all die and go to hell. The devil took Britney in his hands and she melted into a puddle. Then he took P. Diddy in his hands and he melted into a puddle. Then he took Eminem into his hands, but he didn't melt. The devil said, "why didn't you melt like the other two?" He said, "Because Eminem melts in your mouth, not youA teacher asked a pupil a question, but she could barely hear the child speaking since the other kids were making too much noise. In an attempt to quiet them, she said, ''I can hear voices!''
3. A teacher asked a pupil a question, but she could barely hear the child speaking since the other kids were making too much noise. In an attempt to quiet them, she said, ''I can hear voices!''
   Two janitors outside heard the teacher and one said to the other, ''Jeez, she better stop telling the kids about her mental problems!''
4. A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old girl on an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?""OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"